The following is the exact copy of my medium article
. No need to go there if you prefer reddit. And please ignore my startup mentioned here. I spent a whole month writing this huge guide - it's far beyond a mere promotion. This post is about Ethereum blockchain. I do love it.
As I'm an entrepreneur myself (with some humble programming skills) I think I managed to explain clearly the practical side of Ethereum smart contracts - what can be done and how. Think this sub is the best place for it. Hope you'll find this helpful.
Will do my best to answer all your questions (please mind the time difference - I'm in Russia).
An entrepreneur, programmer and user walk into a smart contract - The ultimate Ethereum blockchain stratup guide.
Lifehack - you don't need to understand blockchain to build a smart contract startup.
I made my smart contract project
and still feel as a total noob reading discussions on blockchain. There is so much to learn for me. But, hey, my project works! Why bother? Though blockchain is cool and it's cool to understand the technology, there is no need to understand everything.
Take a look at smart contracts from an entrepreneurs point of view - focus on how you can benefit from it. What kinds of projects you can actually do? What business models are there? What an MVP would look like? What it takes to engage a user, find a programmer and build infrastructure?
This guide with examples and exercises will show you the practical side of smart contracts and help you estimate your idea or generate a new one. Use it as a starting point for your further investigation.
What you do need to know about blockchain and what you may just skip Mining
. The first thing to skip. From an entrepreneur's point of view mining is more like playing the stock market - buy equipment, analyze reward price charts and decide which crypto currency to invest your computing power to. But if you are dealing with smart contracts, you don't have to care about mining for the same reason you don't care about Internet providers when visiting a web-site. Blocks, hashes, cryptography
and all that math - we gonna ignore it too. The important practical outcome can be reduced to this mantra: "Everything that gets into blockchain remains there forever, anything can be verified, but nothing can be changed". In practice it means that data is stored permanently, transparently and securely.
Now let's turn to the terms you cannot do without and explain them as if it's year 2005 now. Blockchain is like a BitTorrent network
. A program on your computer downloads files and afterwards gives them away. But the program is called blockchain client
rather than torrent client. And those files you download store transactions instead of videos and music. Sender, recipient, date-time and ammount - records are stored one after another (yes, they are stored in blocks, but who cares). Everybody who runs blockchain client has his own copy of the whole blockchain database and keeps all transactions that have ever been made. This database is huge. Ethereum blockchain is currently about 43 GB, Bitcoin is 125.78 GB
. todo Cryptocurrency is a list of money transfers.
In blockchain world your balance is not just a single record, but the sum of all your receipts and expenditures (the entire transactions history). If a blockchain stores transactions which only contain money transfers (sender address, recipient address and amount being sent), we call this type of blockchain a cryptocurrency. Bitcoin - is a cryptocurrency. But any transaction is just a string in a file, thus it may contain any information. An address in turn may not belong to a human... which gives us much wider opportunities then just a crypto currency. Smart contract is like a web site.
A blockchain address may belong to a program. A program then is called a smart contract. It is called a contract just because the code is open. However it is simpler to compare it to a web site (or web service). For example, a classified advertisements service could be a smart contract. Its code would be stored at a particular address in the blockchain - just like a web site url. A transaction to this address would not contain money but an advertisement text. And the smart contract would publish this advertisement, i.e. saves to blockchain. Ethereum is like the Internet
Ethereum - is exactly the kind of blockchain in which transactions may contain not only money, but data. The blockchain database (those files one downloads) stores transactions between people, transactions involving smart contracts and contracts source codes. This makes Ethereum kinda new type of the Internet, which is stored locally by everyone involved.
And that's really enough for the theory. The rest you'll learn from what it all means in practice.
What is the difference between a smart contract and a conventional web site
What are the advantages (and disadvantages) of a smart contract driven service.
Openness and Encryption
A user doesn't have to trust you. "Everything that gets into blockchain remains there forever, anything can be verified, but nothing can be changed". The user sees exactly how your system works (smart contract code is open) and stays confident in the reliability of your database (database is transparent and unchangeable). Meaning there is no need to win users trust.
For example, you can turn a classified advertisements service into an open auction with charity donations. The process of selling would look as follows. A seller sets the initial price and posts a lot. After that anybody will be able to track bets, see a winner, see how much seller earned and how much was deducted to charity and to platform commission. Everybody is confident there was no cheating.
Where it benefits most. Gambling (Roulethvdice.io
), prediction markets (Augur
), voting, multilevel marketing (TheMillionEtherHomepage
Payment processing "out of the box"
You don't have to deal with any payment processing services. Solidity language with which smart contracts are written incorporates all the necessary money (Ether cryptocurrency) operators. User balance is just another variable in your code. You can program any behavior to it - like triggering an event on receiving a certain amount of money or making a multisignature payment and much more. That is why Ether and other cryptocurrencies are often referred to as programmable money.
Where it benefits most. Crowdfunding platforms (Weifund
), rent services Golem - rent unused CPU/GPU cycles
You don't have to worry about DoS attacks
and scalability. Every blockchain user has it's own smart contract copy locally on his computer, thus it will withstand any load, free of charge.
Where it benefits most. Smart contracts gave rise to a totally new kind of companies - decentralized organizations (DAOs). DAO is a separate phenomenon worth studying. In the meantime, just ask yourself: "Why do we need an intermediary like Uber, if it is possible to connect a driver and a passenger through a smart contract directly?". What prospects does it opens? Have a look at this startups: Arcade city
Lifehack: When googling for A DAO, ignore the hassle around THE DAO). The only reason THE DAO failed was braking some basic smart contract safety rules (we'll discuss them further).
Transaction delay and commission
A user have to pay for every transaction and have to wait a bit too. The average transaction is mined (read included) into Ethereum blockchain in 14-15 seconds
. There is a high chance of reducing this delay down to 4 seconds
in the near future. But even then we are all got used to a better responsiveness. Moreover a simple money transfer (two addresses involved, no contracts, minimal amount of data) would cost about 0.000861 ETH ($0.02 in March 2017)
. These "drawbacks" are tiny, but enough to build a heavy threshold for certain types of projects.
Where it doesn't benefit. A chat for example. Each message chips a couple of weis (Ether denomination
) off your balance and requires half a minute to reach the other end. This is probably a bad idea for a startup unless you are dealing with some official correspondence, which requires legal force and does not require privacy. With smart contracts you can choose almost any web service and make it blockchain. Plus you are free to create completely new blockchain-only types of projects.
See what has already been done
, mix it up with Internet of things, artificial intelligence, virtual worlds or fintech, and you'd most probably get a unicorn.
Note: You can make a smart contract with Bitcoin too, but it's like doing 3D in MS Excel. Kinda possible, but why?
What business models are there
You are free to use any business model. But first have a look at what have already become a new standard in Ethereum - tokens.
In conventional terms tokens business model is like crowdfunding and IPO combined. The "crowd" buys shares of your company instead of products. And in the future the shares (tokens) may be sold or exchanged for your services.
This became possible because Solidity
(Ethereum smart contract language) allows issuing your own cryptocurrency.
For example. You came up with a classified advertisement platform idea. You want it to have its own internal currency (tokens) called Advertisement (ADV). You want to charge 1 ADV for placing an advertisement, 2 ADVs for pinning it to the top and 0.2 ADVs for updating. You write a smart contract. All that it is capable of at this point is receiving money (ETH) and keeping users balances.
Now you announce your platform in a way that crowdfunding projects usually do and offer to buy ADVs at low cost 1 ADV = 1 ETH. Later when your platform is live you'll set the ADV price to 10 ETH. After that those who invested in the very beginning will be able to sell their ADVs gaining income or place their ads 10 times cheaper than the current price. But for now you've earned your ETH to spend on development. Tokens are attractive enough on their own to start experimenting with smart contracts.
What it takes to engage a user
Ok. You published your first smart contract. But what it takes to engage a user with no blockchain experience to use it? And how can we lower the threshold?
We can break user experience into two parts: interacting with blockchain (what a user has to do anyway) and interacting with your smart contract (ways we can make a user's life easier).
Interacting with blockchain
What a user has to do anyway. Get an address (a wallet).
An address and a key to it is like username and password. There is no way to interact with blockchain without it. The easiest way to get it is to use generator at MyEtherWallet.com
. It takes less than one minute and as a result, user receives an address and a key. The address is a 42 character sting and the key is a small file. The key file is used to sign transactions and has to be saved as securely as possible - there is no way to restore it. A user can use the same address to interact with any smart contract. IMG: Generate a wallet at MyEtherWallet.com Get some ether (ETH).
Any transaction requires commission (0,001 to 0,01 ETH on average). A user has to fuel up his address with a sufficient sum to interact with your contract. Buying ether is possible through major exchanges
. These exchanges require 1-3 day for identity approval and are available in a limited list of countries. Users from other countries and those not eager to wait (especially when buying Ether worth a couple of bucks) may use almost instant alternatives
Look and feel exercise: generate a wallet and send some Ether to it. Access a blockchain client.
Any interaction with blockchain and with any smart contract accordingly is done through a blockchain-client.
As of March 2017 downloading Ethereum database to an HDD disk (70% are still using HDDs
) requires 2-3 days and 43 GB of spare space. It makes computer unresponsive enough to start throwing things at it. Keeping blockchain in sync too requires about the same amount of resources as watching a movie online does.
Not to confuse the pros. For the sake of simplicity we call EthereumWallet, Mist browser, geth and parity the blockchain client. We are entrepreneurs here, it is only a programmer who should really know the difference.
There is also a so called light client. It doesn't require downloading the database. But it still requires installation and getting hands dirty with manuals. Our target audience is not willing to do it either.
So let's be realistic our target audience will hardly install any blockchain client on their computers. Let's see how we can help. A necessary and sufficient minimum for a user to start interacting with any smart contract is an address (key file) and a tiny amount of ether on it.
Interacting with your smart contract
We got to simplify user experience with a graphical user interface (GUI). In Ethereum GUIs do not belong to smart contracts and are stored off the blockchain. There are several ways to "attach" GUI to a smart contract. Here are they from the least to the most user-friendly.
Smart contract with no GUI
Users can interact with smart contracts directly, with no GUI at all.
Blockchain client can identify smart contract functions and let user work with it. The client provides auto-generated GUI so a contract looks and feels like a sign-in form of a website. This is a straightforward way of writing to and reading from contract. IMG: Access contract function through Ethereum Wallet
But we agreed we won't force user to deal with blockchain clients. To set user free from it we can try to offer MyEtherWallet.com
(an online client). Contract interaction will look just the same, but there is no need to download or learn anything. IMG: Access the same function through MyEtherWallet.com
The contract without GUI has to be very well documented. It is also a good idea to make a landing page to display the current state of the contract.
For example, TheMillionEtherHomepage.com
displays the state of the underlying contract and offers users to work with it directly giving all necessary instructions. The same setup would likely be a minimum for a classified advertisements smart contract. So the user with no blockchain background would be able to grasp the idea of the service.
Look and feel exercise: Try following sign in instructions for TheMillionEtherHomepage.com (it's free) and see what it is like to use MyEtherWallet.com. A Smart contract without GUI will do as a minimum viable product
Decentralized application (DApp) - GUI in a browser
In the above example the website doesn't allow writing to the contract being just a representation of its state (it only reads from the contract). To let user interact with your contract (read and write) through your own GUI you gonna need a DApp. DApp is a GUI for your contract in a browser.
A browser can simultaneously connect to the Internet and to a blockchain client. This allows a smart contract to look (and work) just like a conventional web-site. A user will follow a link like http://myClassyAdvertisements.com
The GUI is taken from the Internet, but transactions are sent to a local blockchain client.
Browser can connect either to full or light blockchain client. We discarded them both. There is a browser with "included" client - the Mist browser
. But it is too complex too. The easiest solution is the Google Chrome plugin Metamask
which brings all blockchain benefits right into the browser. This is what we want our user to install.
Look and feel exercise: Go to tokens exchange platform Maker Market, then install Metamask Chrome plugin and try Maker Market again. See how metamask brings blockchain functionality to the website. DApp and Metamask browser plugin make your smart contract look and feel just like a web-site
We can make any GUI for mobile or desktop application and bring any feature to it. But in order to send transactions it has to communicate with a blockchain client too.
The ways to do it without any locally installed client are: embedding a light client right into your application or communicating with a remote blockchain client (see infrastructure section further).
Look and feel exercise: Try installing Jaxx wallet or Free Wallet on your phone. To engage a user with no blockchain background means to make him get an address, buy a bit of Ether and install your mobile app or Metamask browser plugin.
What it takes to build an infrastructure
Let's turn to even more practical (and technical) parts. First what will you have to buy. From the cheapest to the most expensive setup.
Smart contract with no GUI
Regardless of the way you've implemented the GUI, you need to publish your contract first. Publication of a contract is a transaction too. Commission for it is negligible. If you managed to pay 1 ETH for commission, then your project is larger than the majority of existing ones.
Project documentation may be published for free at readthedocs.com. Or upload instruction videos to youtube.
If you want to display the status of the contract on a web-site the way TheMillionEtherHomepage.com
does, you have to develop a back-end that will "listen" to the contract through a blockchain-client. Thus you need a hosting to run your website, blockchain client and your blockchain client "listener".
Before buying a hosting check out Etherscan.io
). So introduce a version for those with no access to blockchain (see a paragraph up - make a web-page representing your smart contract status).
For a mobile app you'd probably need a server with a running blockchain client to let your app communicate with the blockhain through it. Or you can embed light client
right into your app. Or use Etherscan.io
API. Depends on your features. A more detailed (and more technical) guide is here - Mobile: Introduction
Which developer skills are required
What kind of developers skills you want to search?
Smart contract with no GUI
Ethereum has its own language for smart contracts which is called Solidity
Any contact is open source. Anyone can copy it and quietly experiment with attack options before an actual attack. With no thought out bug fixing strategies, neither address nor contract code can be changed after its publication. If there is a vulnerability and no escape paths, you'll helplessly observe your balance approaching zero. So it was with the ill-fated DAO (remember the life hack - The DAO is just an example of how one shouldn't write smart contracts). Responsibility.
Ethereum community recommends writing smart contract as if it were a firmware for electronics or a financial service (but NOT a web-site). For anyone eager to write smart contacts this official document on safety
is a must.
provides interaction with blockchain client. A front-end developer will do the job. Patience
You need a patient and curious developer. This is the person to dive deepest into blockchain technology, make raw developer tools work and read through tons of documentation.
Mobile apps and back-ends
Mobile and desktop applications can be written in any language. Recommendations are the same as for the DApp. To connect your app to a blockchain client (full, light or remote) there are ready-made libraries available. For example, python
. To embed a light client, check out geth
Lifehack: Jump off the cliff and build wings on the way down © Ray Douglas Bradbury.
There are only 368 dapps listed at the official Ethereum dapps list
and only one third of them is live. I believe this indicates the lack of understanding, not possibilities. It makes Ethereum a great chance to build a future game changer.
You may get some insights learning technology deeper. It is useful to know many of the underlying concepts of Ethereum and blockchain technology in general. But for the smart contracts and for the start this guide is a enough.
Thank you for reading.
Chromatic barrier quantizing, time dilation, geosynchronous trajectories over time...those calculations were relatively easy compared to suddenly finding yourself 20,000 feet above the earth and falling. It was the only safe way to predict that I would not end up stuck in the earth or floating in space, I got lucky, honestly I had no idea whether or not my body would not be sliced to ribbons by the compressed matter field. submitted by
I lost consciousness and pulled my chute too early when I came to from panicking, but it did little harm, I floated safely to the ocean and inflated the raft. Almost drowning in the process, I ditched the chute and gathered myself thinking on the bright side of all the things that could have went wrong but did not.
The magnetic GPS device I made prior to my jump into the future said I was roughly eighty miles off shore from the nearest Eastern coast line. I made a makeshift motor out of the supplies I brought and paddled the last thirty miles. A freighter offered help but I declined and told them my boat had sunk. It took a complete day to get to the Jersey shoreline. Mother Liberty was still standing brightly in the distance, a good sign I just fucking jumped to the year 2215 and I felt exhilarated.
Cars were literally flying, fashion was a bit peculiar and it seemed advertising had stepped it's game up holographic displays were everywhere, on the sides of buildings, on cars, even the grass in some places had semi familiar logos. I ate at a McDonald's, and the cashier told me he would accept the old cash this time but most places would not. The entire thirty thousand in bills were invalid.
Saw a cool Harry Potter Legends poster, on my way to a Radioshack outlet, but I was eager to find out about the history of the past two hundred years.
The Radioshack employee was very kind to my naivete, I told him I was an immigrant and tried to fake a Russian accent probably not so well. I explained I had found an old bitcoin chip in my grandfather's belongings and he ran it for me. It was worth far more than I had expected, I bought a few new items on top of a animotus headset to connect to the grid or what someone would call the internet back in my day. He gave me a footnote tutorial on how to use it and what to expect. He was also able to process a temporary BC Master card which would allow me to buy practically anything with little hassle. I shared a small portion of my wealth with the cashier in exchange for him not telling anyone.
I got into a taxi expecting it to fly, but it was an old energy model terrain only. No big deal I'd buy a cool one soon when I got the chance. I had him take me to the nearest cheapest motel, it was fairly packed and the lady at the reception counter had no hair whatsoever. I drew the conclusion it was the effects of a new kind of drug from her behavior, well new to me at least.
The first thing I did with the new headset was find a familiar website in the system, servers had been crossed over and accounts, it seemed as old as when the website first began still existed. I chose plain text format as opposed to the less familiar style of avatar roaming on the system grid. As far as I could tell the system grid was basically a giant virtual world similar to The Sims video game with better graphics. It required a ton of procedure though so I just went old school, which was still an option.
I logged on to my old account which was still there surprisingly, all my photos had been archived though and I instantly received a prompt telling me the steps on how to retrieve them. I had 822 new notifications pending, and an entire list of all of my old friends on it were deceased, I began tearing up for some odd reason. After all I had just left Boston a few hours ago from 2015 and all of my friends were still living there. That is when the unexpected happened and my sadness was quickly replaced with confusion.
Frank: No. Rachel got married after her BA and never went back popped out about six kids and never wrote another study on it. Shit man, my plane is about to leave without me, maybe we will get drinks the next time I'm in bean country. Play a pick up game or something you can tell me about that batshit crazy device you are working on? TTYL, bro.
Thomas: Well that sucks, I figured she would be the one to solve it. Oh ok. Yeah I don't drink anymore but I still play every Sat. on the ole' stomping grounds. Good luck with your internship!
End of Message/Archived/April 04 2015 3:22A.M.
Frank is typing...
Frank: Hey you two hundred year old son of a bitch! We never got those drinks. If Professor Watkins was still alive he'd owe me three hundred dollars.
Thomas: Frank? Is this Frank Deveroux? What the fuck is going on?
Frank: Of course it's me you goofy bitch, who were you expecting? Google my name and it will answer your questions.
Frank: What about you? Most people thought you were abducted and murdered in September of 2015, I knew better though. It was always that quantum displacement bullshit you were always preaching since high school. You time traveled didn't you?
I opened a new grid bar and searched his name, Frank Deveroux wiki, oldest living man 238 years old. The synopsis was he became the international expert on the vascular system and pioneered the application of nanite surgery. There was alot of controversy on how he was able to stay so young, he did not look a day over fifty.
Thomas: Yeah, crazy fucking ride in, I ended up about eighty miles out from the East Coast, good thing I knew to have a parachute and life raft before jumping though. I was never good at precise variable mathematics. Lol, apparently you have mastered it though.
Frank: I programmed my own nanites to deconstruct and rebuild my vascular system in sections, my brain gets goofy every once in a while but I'm working on that. I've allowed others this same gift but the public doesn't know about them, only members with something to contribute to society. It's not quite immortality but we are getting there, nothing as profound as time travel though.
Thomas: Well shit man what have you been up to? Got any children?
Frank: Tom, fuck off with all that for now. Look, the government knows you are there and I'm delaying them in hopes of getting to you first. I've sent an autopod to that shitty hotel you are in, it's going to fly you to my facility in LA where I will meet you. Trust me, the government will probably steal your tech and kill you after they are done with you. After all that's exactly what they did with the first aliens that landed in Times Square, they basically started the first galactic war I've created a little video to catch you up with what's been going on for the past two hundred years. You can watch it on your way, it's the green one in the parking lot, here now take the headset off and run! Go man!
I took the head set off and my eyes adjusted to the dim focus of the graphic display, it was much brighter than I had expected. Like coming in from the first winter's snow on a bright afternoon, disoriented I peeked out of the hotel's window and sure enough one of those helicopter cars was waiting it had a flag on the side I did not recognize. I quickly gathered all my things scattered on the bed, but left the three hundred dollar headset that I had bought with my bitcoin account suspecting it had some kind of tracing software in it. My mind was in overdrive, how could Frank still be alive and how did the government know I was truly me in the future and not some hacker or prankster? Had there been other time travelers?
I took a deep breath and exited the hotel making sure the chromatic device was still attached to my leg, I made a quick trip to the lobby and gave them the key and entered the strange green 'autopod' as Frank had called it. The doors slid open with a smooth hiss unlike the taxi I had taken after swimming to shore, two propellers on either side were hidden beneath the carriage that instantly shot out after the doors shut. The interior was spacious and comfortable, I could almost stand completely inside, a hologram display unit lit up as the car began slowly ascending with warning lights on the outside.
The hologram display labeled everything unfamiliar to me, beverage and snack storage, slid out from beneath the cushioned seats on either side. Beneath that was a drawer full of medications and sick bags, the right side of the windshield doubled as a television, this was nothing like the older version taxi that got me here I was beginning to get impressed.
"Welcome, Thomas Hester. Please prepare yourself for sonic flight by aligning your seating position in one of the marked locations." the voice of the car said.
I readjusted my sitting position in the red glowing bars beneath the leather like material.
"Please remain still while your vest belt measurements are taken."
A vest on a coat hanger dropped down from a panel and a laser in the unit on the ceiling scanned my chest as I watched the harness on it readjust.
"Scanning complete. Would you like an introduction and tutorial for sonic flight? If you choose no we may begin." the disembodied voice asked me.
"No. No thank you, I think I get it," I told it. "what should I call you though in case I need something?"
"Mr.Deveroux has designated my AI core as BB, it is short for 'Bottom Bitch', I understand this is a joke that you as one of his classmates would recognize."
I giggled remembering the epic breakup of Rachel and Frank, in which he called her his bottom bitch in front of most of campus.
"Speaking of Frank is there any way I can," the car sprang forward with incredible speed jolting my nutsack on the seat making me wince. "talk to him?"
"Mr.Deveroux is discussing diplomatic terms with the senators of New Jersey and Massachusetts on your behalf, in five minutes we will be intercepted by military drones that plan to extradite you from Brazil's custody." BB told me.
"Wait what? I'm in Brazil's custody as in South America Brazil?" I asked her...it.
"Correct, Mr.Deveroux has many clients and associates globally and galactically, if the United States government happens to extradite you there is an 84% chance that they will steal the device hiding on your leg and torture you to learn it's secrets and then kill you. Mr.Deveroux plans to hold a press conference to let the worlds know, you are the first time traveler, the government will stop at nothing short of starting a war to prevent this. It is why you are in Brazil's custody." BB finished.
I suddenly felt sick, maybe hoping that Frank was fucking with me, but it was real. The aliens, corrupt government, I suddenly had the urge to use the device and go back but I did not have enough voltage in the uber capacitors. Fuck me, I looked out the window and saw a blazing trail of large predator drones line up in the distant skyline of the Jersey shore.
"Fuck meeee..." I moaned.
A holographic naked woman popped out of the display unit, an extremely beautiful blonde caught me off guard.
"No, BB. I meant it as an expression. Like we are screwed." I clarified.
"I am aware, Frank's history on your persona suggests you are a fan of jokes." BB informed me as the hologram skittered into static.
The display screen on the right side of the window flashed to life with a stern looking man's face.
"The Brazil government has no domain in domestic airspace, I am General McCannon of the United States airforce, you are ordered by edict 9 of the domestic terrorist act to dock your vehicle on terrain immediately or suffer extreme prejudice." the man demanded, he had a scar that ran the length of his face.
"Mr.Hester would you like to converse with General McCannon? If it is to your liking I believe I can strategically debate a successful outcome with 70% probability." BB asked me.
"You do it. Do it now please!" I screamed, as a flock of drones created a complete ring around the vehicle spiraling into a cylinder of gloomy death.
"Yo! Fuck you dawg, yain't doin shit muhfucka'!" BB's voice changed entirely from a soft caressing female voice to a strong intimidating thug like voice.
"BB what the fuck!?" I cowered wondering what hell was going on.
"Trust in me. Now may be a good time to place your vest on." She said in her soft voice, I took the vest off it's hanger and put it on it tightened up instantly and a magnetic chain connected to it from the seats gripping me firmly.
"This is your final warning before we open fire on your autopod, comply or be shot down." the General stated plainly but you could tell he was infuriated because his face became flushed.
"Bullshit, nigga', yain't fittin' to do shit, y'all want my man's n' dems cuffs too bad to throw stone. Y'all bluffin' BITCH!" BB's new voice rang out in almost a hypnotic tone.
"BB...?..., WHAT THE FUCK!" I said as one of the spiraling drones broke rank and fell behind the autopod I crouched down as one of the rotors of the guns on it's wings fired a stream of bullets. None made contact with the vehicle but I felt like shitting my pants.
"What I tell you! Y'ain't fittin' tado' shit you wanna' declare war on Janeiro bitch? Get da' UN ready cause I'll break some nukes off in that bitch ass, General McFuckwad. We got Dip Immunity muhfucka' and I'm livestreaming all this shit, nigga'. We currently have 378 viewers and rising, So say somethin' else bitch made muhfucka'." I got the impression that BB was actually imitating a real person.
The General's face became even redder and beads of sweat began appearing on his forehead, the transmission cut just as you could hear him lose his shit. The drone's spiral flying pattern fell into synch beneath the autopod and veered off into the direction they came from and I could feel my fingertips again and sat on the cushions once more.
"BB! What. The. Fuck. Was. That?" I asked her as my buttcheeks loosened a bit.
"Forgive me, I had not the time to explain. I was following the directives of the President of Brazil by mimicking his voice patterns and diplomatic strategies." BB said in her soothing voice.
"He, uh, holy shit, he really talks like that?" I asked her.
"Correct, in fact, you may be familiar with his great grandfather, I imitated the voice of Lionel Broadus II, President of Brazil, and heir to the Doggfather lineage. He is a leader of almost unparalleled strategy despite his abnormal decorum." BB told me.
"Holy fucking shit. I take it we are safe for now? So Frank told me he would give me the cliff notes for the past two centuries in video format." I asked cautiously.
"Indeed, we are both safe and the video will upload now in the display screen if you would like I can synch it to the headset." BB stated.
"No. the windshield is fine thank you." I told her retrieving an oddly shaped drink with citrus soda and vodka from the drawer beneath me and watched the video.
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